how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He better not be in your backpack
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize