We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
