I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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