you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
