at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
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