I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
