careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
