i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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