That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Randomize
