K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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