I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
