Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
