The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
