I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize