My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
