I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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