i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
