My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
