i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
