I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
