Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
