I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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