This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
