We got so high we made milksteak
Swine flu is the new snow day.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
