Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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