I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize