You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
