She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
