one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I love how my cats smell like pot.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Boobs are out for the taking
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
