discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize