I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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