My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
