ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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