Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
someone get that fucking seahorse.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
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