sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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