She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
