I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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