so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
and you fell through a lawn chair
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
