no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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