I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
