So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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