OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
