he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
