She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
