I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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