So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
