What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
