i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
