TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
