U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Drake has all the answers
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
