you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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