I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
How does one acquire holy water?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize