Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Where did you get a picture of my penis
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
