Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize