I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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