Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
