Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I just want to make out with him forever
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
