I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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