$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
