haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Terrible idea I love it
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
