I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
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