no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
