Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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