She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
