Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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