Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
