We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
