man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
