what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
